Are you an INFJ?
Do you often feel like you don’t quite fit in with the world around you?
Do you struggle to maintain relationships and find yourself constantly misunderstood?
If so, you’re not alone.
Being an INFJ can be incredibly challenging, and it’s not just because of our introverted nature.
Our personality type is complex and often contradictory, leading to feelings of loneliness, confusion, and even worthlessness.
In this article, we’ll explore why being an INFJ is so hard and offer some tips for navigating the unique challenges that come with this personality type.
So grab a cup of tea, get comfortable, and let’s dive in.
Why Is Being An INFJ So Hard
INFJs are one of the rarest personality types, making up only 1-2% of the population. This can make it difficult for us to find others who truly understand us and our unique perspective on the world.
One of the biggest challenges we face is our tendency to put others before ourselves. While this can make us caring and thoughtful individuals, it can also lead to burnout and resentment when we don’t receive the same level of care and consideration in return.
Additionally, INFJs are conflict avoidant, which can make it difficult for us to address problems in our relationships. Instead of dealing with issues head-on, we may allow resentment to build up until we explode or shut down completely. This can lead to a breakdown in communication and ultimately, the end of the relationship.
Another challenge INFJs face is our complex and often contradictory nature. We may feel like we’re two different people at times, with a constant conflict between our inner and outer worlds. This can make it difficult for us to understand ourselves, let alone communicate our thoughts and feelings to others.
Finally, as private individuals, INFJs may struggle to open up emotionally in romantic relationships. We care deeply about others but take our time evaluating if we’re ready to be vulnerable and show our true selves. This level of privacy can be confusing or alienating for others, leading them to misunderstand our intentions or level of interest in them.
The Complexities Of The INFJ Personality Type
The INFJ personality type is known for its complexities and contradictions. On the one hand, INFJs are deeply idealistic and motivated by a desire to make the world a better place. They have a rich inner life and value authentic connections with others. However, they can also be private and mysterious, making it difficult for others to understand them.
INFJs are guided by a set of personal values that they take very seriously. They are intensely idealistic and can envision a happier and more perfect future. However, they can become discouraged by the harsh realities of the present and may struggle to reconcile their idealism with the practicalities of daily life.
Another complexity of the INFJ personality type is their conflict-avoidant nature. While they are skilled mediators who seek to find common ground with others, they may also struggle to address problems in their relationships directly. This can lead to resentment and misunderstandings that ultimately damage the relationship.
As private individuals, INFJs may also struggle to open up emotionally in romantic relationships. They value deep connections with others but may take their time evaluating whether they are ready to be vulnerable and show their true selves. This level of privacy can be confusing or alienating for others, leading them to misunderstand the INFJ’s intentions or level of interest in them.
Finally, INFJs often struggle with self-love and self-acceptance. They may live with a harsh inner critic and feel misunderstood or pushed to the side by others. It is important for INFJs to take time out to care for their mental and physical health and learn when and how to say goodbye to people who repeatedly hurt or misjudge them.
Feeling Misunderstood And Alone
Despite our deep desire for connection and understanding, INFJs often feel misunderstood and alone. We have a unique ability to read and understand the emotions of others, but this can leave us vulnerable to absorbing their feelings and neglecting our own. We may feel overloaded with the emotions of those around us, leading us to feel lost and alone when managing our own feelings.
Furthermore, as deep thinkers and intuitive feelers, we may come across as intense or unapproachable to others. This can make it difficult for us to form meaningful connections with people who don’t share our level of emotional depth.
INFJs also struggle with trust issues, making it challenging for us to open up and share our true selves with others. We fear rejection for being too weird, too sensitive, or just not normal. This internalized belief that something is wrong with us can lead to feelings of isolation and a sense that we don’t belong.
The Struggle To Maintain Relationships
One of the biggest struggles for INFJs is maintaining romantic relationships. Our tendency to put others before ourselves can lead to us neglecting our own needs and becoming drained or resentful. This, combined with our conflict avoidance, can make it difficult for us to address problems in the relationship, leading to a breakdown in communication and ultimately, the end of the relationship.
Another challenge is our tendency to be complex and contradictory. We may struggle to understand ourselves and communicate our thoughts and feelings to our partners. This can lead to misunderstandings and confusion, making it difficult for our partners to connect with us on a deeper level.
Furthermore, as private individuals, INFJs may struggle to open up emotionally in romantic relationships. We care deeply about others but take our time evaluating if we’re ready to be vulnerable and show our true selves. This level of privacy can be confusing or alienating for others, leading them to misunderstand our intentions or level of interest in them.
Finally, INFJs need to be wary of ego defensiveness in their partners, which can induce ego defensiveness in us and lead to destructive behavior. We also need to be careful not to be blinded by physical attractiveness, sexual compatibility, or material wealth at the expense of other more substantive traits like intellectual compatibility and mutual respect.
The Inner Conflict Of The INFJ
One of the most challenging aspects of being an INFJ is the inner conflict that we often experience. We have a deep desire to help others and make the world a better place, but we also struggle with our own needs and desires. This can lead to a constant battle between our inner and outer worlds, leaving us feeling confused and unsure of ourselves.
As INFJs, we tend to put others first, often at the expense of our own well-being. While this can be a positive trait, it can also lead to feelings of resentment and burnout when we don’t receive the same level of care and consideration in return. We may feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or pursuing our own interests, leading to a constant internal struggle between our desire to help others and our need for self-care.
Another source of inner conflict for INFJs is our perfectionism and idealism. We set impossibly high standards for ourselves and can be intolerant of anything inside ourselves that doesn’t meet those expectations. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, as we constantly strive for perfection while feeling like we’re falling short.
At the same time, INFJs are highly sensitive to criticism, even if it’s constructive. We may fear that we’ve let other people down or let ourselves down, leading to a constant internal dialogue of self-criticism and doubt.
All of these factors can contribute to a sense of inner turmoil for INFJs, making it difficult for us to find peace and contentment in our lives. However, by recognizing these patterns and working to address them, we can learn to manage our inner conflict in a healthier way and find greater fulfillment in our relationships and personal lives.
Coping Strategies For INFJs
As an INFJ, it’s important to prioritize self-care and set boundaries in order to avoid burnout. This can include taking time for yourself to recharge, saying no to requests that don’t align with your values or priorities, and seeking support from trusted friends or professionals when needed.
When it comes to conflict resolution, INFJs may benefit from practicing assertiveness and communication skills. This can involve expressing your needs and concerns in a calm and respectful manner, actively listening to the other person’s perspective, and finding a mutually beneficial solution.
To navigate our complex nature, INFJs may find it helpful to journal or engage in introspective practices such as meditation or therapy. This can help us better understand our inner workings and communicate our thoughts and feelings more effectively to others.
Finally, in romantic relationships, INFJs may benefit from being open and honest about their need for privacy and emotional space. Communicating your boundaries and expectations early on can help avoid misunderstandings and build a foundation of trust and respect.
Embracing Your Unique Qualities As An INFJ
Despite the challenges we face as INFJs, there are many unique qualities that we possess that can be embraced and celebrated.
Firstly, our strong desire to help others and make the world a better place is a powerful force for good. We have a unique ability to come up with carefully considered plans and take steps to bring positive change to people’s lives. This can be a source of great satisfaction and fulfillment for us.
Secondly, our ability to read people and sense their moods is a valuable skill that can help us navigate social situations with ease. We can use this skill to connect with others on a deeper level and build meaningful relationships.
Thirdly, our complex and often contradictory nature can be a source of creativity and inspiration. We have a unique perspective on the world that can lead to innovative ideas and solutions to problems.
Finally, our need for alone time is an important aspect of self-care that should be embraced and respected by ourselves and others. Taking time to recharge and reflect is essential for our well-being and allows us to show up as our best selves in our relationships and work.
In conclusion, while being an INFJ may come with its challenges, there are many unique qualities that make us valuable contributors to society. By embracing our strengths and taking care of ourselves, we can navigate the world with confidence and purpose.
