Have you ever met an ISTP and thought they were mean or rude?
You’re not alone.
ISTPs are often misunderstood because of their direct and honest nature. They don’t see the point in sugar-coating things and would much rather get to the point.
This can come across as insensitive or impatient, but in reality, ISTPs just want to have meaningful conversations and get to know someone on a deeper level.
In this article, we’ll explore the reasons why ISTPs may seem mean and how to better understand and communicate with them.
So, let’s dive in!
Why Are ISTP So Mean
ISTPs are not inherently mean, but their personality traits can sometimes be misinterpreted as such. ISTPs are introverted, sensing, thinking, and perceiving individuals who are driven by a strong desire to solve problems in concrete ways. They are natural “makers” who enjoy taking things apart and putting them back together, leaving them better than before.
ISTPs are logical and rational individuals who value honesty and directness. They believe that honesty is the best policy and don’t see the point in sugar-coating things. This can sometimes be interpreted as being mean, but ISTPs simply want to tell it like it is. They aren’t trying to be hurtful; they just want to be honest.
ISTPs also have a disdain for small talk. Small talk is seen as a waste of time to ISTPs, who would much rather get to the point. This can come across as rude or impatient, but in reality, ISTPs just want to get to know someone more deeply. They would much rather have a meaningful conversation than make small talk.
Another reason why ISTPs may seem mean is that they can sometimes be insensitive. This is because they’re not always aware of the feelings of others. They’re more focused on the present and what needs to be done right now, rather than on emotional nuances. This means that ISTPs can sometimes unintentionally hurt people’s feelings or say things that are offensive.
The ISTP Personality Type
The ISTP personality type is characterized by a strong desire to solve problems in concrete ways. ISTPs are known for their high kinesthetic intelligence and cool pragmatism. They are natural “makers” who enjoy taking things apart and putting them back together, leaving them better than before. This personality type is also fiercely independent and enjoys having time to think alone.
ISTPs are logical and rational individuals who value honesty and directness. They believe that honesty is the best policy and don’t see the point in sugar-coating things. This can sometimes be interpreted as being mean, but ISTPs simply want to tell it like it is. They aren’t trying to be hurtful; they just want to be honest.
ISTPs also have a disdain for small talk. Small talk is seen as a waste of time to ISTPs, who would much rather get to the point. This can come across as rude or impatient, but in reality, ISTPs just want to get to know someone more deeply. They would much rather have a meaningful conversation than make small talk.
ISTPs are driven by a desire for adventure and new experiences. They are easily bored with routines and love the thrill of an adrenaline rush. They aren’t afraid to take physical risks and have a talent for responding to new information, which makes them skilled at navigating risky situations.
However, ISTPs can sometimes be insensitive to the feelings of others. They’re more focused on the present and what needs to be done right now, rather than on emotional nuances. This means that ISTPs can sometimes unintentionally hurt people’s feelings or say things that are offensive.
ISTPs And Direct Communication
One of the defining characteristics of ISTPs is their directness in communication. They prefer to communicate in a practical and straightforward manner, often opting to keep conversations focused on relevant topics and avoiding any unnecessary details. They don’t usually like to get into long-winded discussions, as they prefer to remain focused on tangible and actionable goals. This can sometimes be perceived as being mean, but ISTPs simply want to get to the point.
ISTPs appreciate communication that is honest and straightforward, leaving out any potential confusion or ambiguity. They generally don’t enjoy spending hours chit-chatting. Instead, they prefer to take action through physical actions such as tinkering, repairing, or building something. Ultimately, they say what needs to be said and then move on to the next task.
ISTPs aren’t particularly expressive in how they communicate. Not only can they struggle to read other people at times, but they can be difficult to read themselves. They generally don’t give much away in terms of tone of voice or facial expressions. People of this personality type are most comfortable with one-on-one conversations rather than large group discussions.
It’s important to note that ISTPs don’t like conflict and try to avoid it whenever possible. However, their blunt and matter-of-fact style can sometimes lead to them unintentionally creating conflict. If this happens, ISTPs may simply avoid the conflict and carry on.
In order to minimize conflict in their relationships, ISTPs should consider their words carefully and try to speak clearly, but with respect and consideration for others. They should take care to communicate their ideas without making the other person feel stupid or dismissed. In a work situation where conflict arises, ISTPs may be able to diffuse the situation with sound logic and a cool head.
ISTPs And Emotional Expression
ISTPs are not known for being emotionally expressive. They tend to approach the world primarily through logic and can get uncomfortable when they have to deal with matters of the heart. As a result, they may come across as unsympathetic or overly blunt without meaning to. Similarly, ISTPs tend to keep their own feelings private, often hiding them from even those closest to them.
ISTPs do have emotions, but they struggle to intentionally contact or understand them. Their inferior Fe function makes it difficult for them to experience emotions in the moment, engendering a sense of awkwardness or discomfort in emotional situations. They may even experience the desired emotion a few hours later, but it’s almost as though their emotions get “stage fright” when “put on the spot.” To compensate, ISTPs may try to use their Fe to offer the socially-appropriate words, but without experiencing the emotions directly, they often sound clumsy or contrived in their expressions.
This can be difficult for their romantic partners, particularly for FJ types who desire a reciprocation of authentic emotional expression. But because of their Fe stage fright, ISTPs may not experience their feelings “at the right times” or can have trouble expressing them when they are present.
While ISTPs can certainly have trouble contacting their emotions, they usually have little difficulty overriding or detaching from them. Consequently, ISTPs are less apt to struggle with guilt, regret, or shame in the way that other types might. Others may even be surprised how quickly ISTPs can resume “business as usual” after what most would consider tragic or traumatic circumstances.
ISTPs And Social Interaction
ISTPs can struggle with social interaction, which can sometimes make them come across as mean. They are typically quiet and reserved, which can make it difficult for them to meet new people. They tend to shy away from social gatherings and are more likely to meet people organically, through mutual acquaintances or shared interests.
ISTPs also have a tendency to focus on action and results rather than emotions. This means that they may not always be aware of social cues or emotional nuances, which can lead to misunderstandings or unintentional offenses. They may not realize that their blunt honesty or directness can be perceived as mean or insensitive.
However, ISTPs value authenticity and are often fiercely independent. They are unaffected by the thoughts and opinions of others, which can sometimes make them appear aloof or detached. ISTPs prefer to form deep connections with others rather than engage in surface-level small talk. They are more interested in meaningful conversations and practical problem-solving than in socializing for its own sake.
Understanding And Communicating With ISTPs
To effectively communicate with ISTPs, it’s important to understand their personality traits and communication style. ISTPs value honesty and directness, so it’s best to be straightforward when speaking with them. They don’t like small talk, so it’s best to get to the point and have a meaningful conversation. ISTPs also appreciate when others are objective and logical, rather than emotional.
When communicating with an ISTP, it’s important to keep in mind that they may not always be aware of the feelings of others. They’re more focused on the present and what needs to be done right now, so they may unintentionally say things that come across as insensitive or offensive. It’s important to communicate clearly and calmly if this happens, and to explain how their words or actions made you feel.
ISTPs also value their independence and prefer to work alone rather than in a group. If you need to work with an ISTP, it’s important to give them space and let them work at their own pace. They don’t like micromanagement or close supervision, so it’s best to let them find their own way of doing things.
Finally, it’s important to understand that ISTPs can be loyal and devoted partners, but they may have a hard time expressing their feelings. It takes time for an ISTP to let someone in, but once they do, they are committed and loyal. If you’re in a relationship with an ISTP, it’s important to give them space and time to process their emotions. They may not express their feelings in a traditional way, but they show their love through actions rather than words.
