Are you having trouble understanding the INTJ in your life?
Do they seem to have a poker face that’s impossible to read?
You’re not alone.
INTJs are notoriously difficult to understand, even for other INTJs.
But why is that?
In this article, we’ll explore the reasons behind the enigmatic nature of INTJs and provide some insights into how to better connect with them.
So, grab a cup of coffee and let’s dive in!
Why Are INTJ So Hard To Read
INTJs are known for their analytical and logical minds, which can make them appear cold and unemotional to others. They tend to keep their emotions hidden and may not express themselves in the same way as other personality types. This can make it difficult for people to understand them and connect with them on a deeper level.
Additionally, INTJs have a strong sense of independence and self-reliance. They don’t like to rely on others for support or guidance, which can make them appear distant or aloof. They may also have high standards for themselves and others, which can lead to a lack of patience for those who don’t meet those standards.
Another factor that contributes to the difficulty in understanding INTJs is their tendency to cut off communication if they predict a negative outcome. This means that if they perceive a potential conflict or disagreement, they may simply stop communicating with the other person altogether. This can be confusing and frustrating for those who are trying to connect with them.
Understanding The INTJ Personality Type
To truly understand why INTJs are so hard to read, it’s important to delve deeper into their personality type. INTJs are known for their preference for introverted intuition (Ni) and extraverted thinking (Te). This means that they are more interested in patterns, meanings, and possibilities than concrete facts, and they enjoy exploring the future and different possibilities.
However, what makes INTJs unique is their introverted feeling (Fi) function. Unlike other personality types that have extraverted feeling (Fe), which allows them to easily express emotions and connect with others on an emotional level, INTJs have a more introverted emotional landscape. This means that they tend to keep their emotions hidden and may struggle to express themselves in a way that others can understand.
Furthermore, INTJs tend to be highly independent and self-reliant. They don’t like to rely on others for support or guidance, which can make them appear distant or aloof. They may also have high standards for themselves and others, which can lead to a lack of patience for those who don’t meet those standards.
Another factor that contributes to the challenge of understanding INTJs is their tendency to cut off communication if they predict a negative outcome. This means that if they perceive a potential conflict or disagreement, they may simply stop communicating with the other person altogether. This can be confusing and frustrating for those who are trying to connect with them.
The Inner World Of An INTJ
While INTJs may appear cold and unemotional on the surface, they actually have a deep emotional core that they keep hidden from the world. They tend to view their feelings as private and may not express them in public. This can make it difficult for others to understand their motivations and actions.
The INTJ’s emotional core is often a complex and private one. They may have specific tastes and strong opinions about what is right and wrong. They also tend to have deep insecurities that they may not share with others. Additionally, they often feel like they aren’t achieving enough, which can lead to feelings of frustration or disappointment.
One of the reasons why INTJs keep their emotions hidden is because they view them as vulnerable. They don’t want to expose themselves to potential criticism or rejection. However, when their emotions do get stirred up, they may react in unexpected ways. This can include becoming indignant, non-cooperative, or even angry.
It’s important to note that INTJs are not robots and do have emotions. However, they tend to process them internally rather than externally. They may need time to reflect on their feelings before they are ready to share them with others.
INTJ Communication Style
INTJs have a unique communication style that can be challenging for others to navigate. They tend to communicate in a straightforward and concrete manner, focusing on facts, details, and real-life experiences. They are not interested in discussing ideas or theories unless they have a practical application.
When making plans or discussing a project, INTJs tend to focus on the overall goal or theme rather than the specific steps involved. They are not concerned with the details unless they are necessary to achieve the desired outcome. This can make it difficult for others who prefer to have a clear plan of action.
INTJs are also not known for their emotional expressiveness. They do not show emotion easily and find discussing emotions to be messy and disorganized. This can make it challenging for others to understand their feelings or connect with them on an emotional level.
In addition, INTJs may come across as closed off or distant in communication. However, this is often because they are revising their views and conceptions or forming new ones. Those who can engage them in conversation by making critical comments regarding their ideas may find them becoming quite talkative.
How To Connect With An INTJ
Connecting with an INTJ can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Here are some tips on how to connect with an INTJ:
1. Respect their independence: INTJs value their independence and self-reliance, so it’s important to respect that. Don’t try to force them into social situations or push them to open up if they’re not ready.
2. Be direct and honest: INTJs appreciate directness and honesty, so it’s important to communicate clearly and openly with them. Avoid beating around the bush or being vague in your communication.
3. Show your competence: INTJs value competence and intelligence, so it’s important to show them that you are capable and knowledgeable in your field of interest. This can help build respect and trust between you.
4. Appreciate their problem-solving skills: INTJs are known for their analytical and problem-solving skills. Show appreciation for their ability to find creative solutions to complex problems.
5. Be patient: INTJs may take time to open up and connect with others, so it’s important to be patient and understanding. Don’t push them too hard or too fast, but instead give them space and time to come around.
By following these tips, you can build a strong connection with an INTJ and better understand their unique personality traits. Remember, patience, honesty, and respect are key when trying to connect with an INTJ.
Common Misunderstandings About INTJs
Despite their reputation for being unemotional and distant, INTJs are actually much more sensitive and caring than many people give them credit for. They may not express their emotions in the same way as other personality types, but that doesn’t mean they don’t feel deeply. INTJs often show their kindness through problem-solving and offering honest feedback, which can be misinterpreted as coldness or criticism.
Another common misunderstanding about INTJs is that they don’t value friendships or relationships. In reality, INTJs place a high value on close connections with others, but they may not have as many friends as other personality types due to their preference for deep, meaningful conversations rather than small talk. They also have high standards for their relationships and may be selective about who they let into their inner circle.
Finally, some people may assume that INTJs are arrogant or dismissive of others’ opinions. While it’s true that INTJs have strong convictions and are confident in their own ideas, they also value intellectual debate and are open to hearing different perspectives. They simply prefer to base their decisions on logic and evidence rather than emotions or social pressure.
Conclusion: Embracing The Complexity Of INTJs
In conclusion, INTJs are complex individuals who can be difficult to read and understand. However, by embracing their unique qualities and tendencies, we can learn to appreciate their analytical minds, independent nature, and high standards. It’s important to recognize that INTJs may not express themselves in the same way as other personality types, and that they may cut off communication if they perceive a negative outcome. By being patient and understanding, we can build deeper connections with INTJs and appreciate the valuable contributions they bring to our lives and workplaces. Ultimately, embracing the complexity of INTJs can lead to more meaningful and productive relationships with these fascinating individuals.
