Are you an INFJ looking for love or friendship? Or maybe you’re just curious about what makes these deep thinkers tick.
Either way, it’s important to know what turns an INFJ off. From arrogance to insensitivity, there are certain behaviors and attitudes that will make an INFJ lose interest in someone quickly.
In this article, we’ll explore the biggest turn-offs for INFJs and why they matter. So sit back, relax, and get ready to learn what not to do if you want to win over an INFJ.
What Turns An INFJ Off
INFJs are known for their open-mindedness and ability to handle varying opinions well. However, one of the biggest turn-offs for an INFJ is arrogance. If someone cannot tone down their ego and constantly acts as though they are better than others, the INFJ will become disinterested and even disgusted by that person.
Another major turn-off for INFJs is insensitivity. INFJs are deeply intuitive individuals who take time to analyze and consider the feelings and perspectives of others. When someone treats others poorly or bullies them, the INFJ will distance themselves from that person.
Lack of commitment is also a big turn-off for INFJs. It takes a lot for an INFJ to develop a meaningful relationship, so if someone shows signs of not being solid or resolute in their long-term plans, or if they don’t include the INFJ in those plans, it will send the INFJ running.
Finally, superficiality and a focus on material things can be a big turn-off for INFJs. They care deeply about meaningful, authentic relationships and connecting with others on a deeper level. Someone who is too concerned with money or material objects may not align with their values and may be a big turn-off.
Arrogance And Overconfidence
INFJs detest arrogance and overconfidence in others. While self-confidence is a positive trait, it can quickly turn into arrogance when it becomes an exaggerated sense of one’s abilities or importance. Arrogant individuals tend to blame others when things go wrong, avoid asking for help even when they need it, and overstate their own actions or achievements. INFJs can quickly spot arrogance in others and will distance themselves from those who exhibit this trait.
Arrogance can also lead to missed opportunities. When someone believes they are superior to others, they may miss out on opportunities to learn, experience, and enjoy new things. This closed-mindedness can be a huge turn-off for INFJs who value open-mindedness and a willingness to learn.
Furthermore, arrogance can damage relationships. No one wants to feel inferior or belittled in a conversation or relationship. INFJs value authenticity and honesty in their relationships and can quickly pick up on any insincerity or showiness.
Lack Of Empathy And Insensitivity
INFJs are naturally empathetic individuals who value the feelings and perspectives of others. When someone displays a lack of empathy or insensitivity, it can be a major turn-off for INFJs. They have a deep understanding of emotions and are highly attuned to the emotional states of those around them. If someone is dismissive or insensitive towards others, the INFJ will likely find it difficult to connect with them.
Additionally, INFJs tend to avoid conflict and dislike causing unnecessary distress to others. They may withdraw or become silent when they sense conflict, but this should not be mistaken for a lack of empathy. Instead, it is a coping mechanism that allows them to process their emotions before re-engaging.
However, if someone consistently demonstrates a lack of empathy or insensitivity towards others, the INFJ may distance themselves from that person. They value authenticity and genuine connections with others, and someone who does not share these values will not be a good match for an INFJ.
Disrespect For Personal Boundaries
Another major turn-off for INFJs is when someone shows disrespect for their personal boundaries. INFJs are highly sensitive individuals who value their emotional and physical wellbeing. They need clear boundaries to feel safe and secure in their relationships and workplaces.
When someone consistently crosses those boundaries, it can leave the INFJ feeling overlooked, underappreciated, and disrespected. This can lead to a feeling of discomfort and unease, which can quickly turn into resentment towards that person.
INFJs struggle to assert their own needs and limitations, as they tend to prioritize the needs of others. However, having clear boundaries is crucial for their mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. When someone repeatedly ignores or disrespects those boundaries, it can cause the INFJ to feel guilty and uncertain about themselves.
Confrontation is not something that comes naturally to INFJs. They tend to avoid conflict as much as possible, which can make it difficult for them to stand up for themselves when someone disrespects their boundaries. This can lead to a pattern of avoiding conflict altogether, which only reinforces the behavior of the person who is crossing their boundaries.
In order for an INFJ to feel respected and valued in a relationship or workplace, it is important for others to recognize and honor their personal boundaries. This means being mindful of their needs and limitations, and not pushing them beyond what they are comfortable with. When someone shows respect for an INFJ’s personal boundaries, it creates a sense of safety and security that allows the relationship to thrive.
Dishonesty And Lack Of Integrity
For INFJs, honesty and integrity are non-negotiables. They have a keen sense of intuition and can easily detect when someone is being dishonest or lacks integrity. This is a major turn-off for INFJs, as they deeply value authenticity and transparency in all their relationships.
INFJs have a strong moral compass and believe in doing what’s right, even if it’s not the easiest or most popular choice. They cannot tolerate lying, manipulation, or corruption in any form. When they sense that someone is not being truthful or is acting with questionable motives, they will withdraw and avoid that person.
The reason why dishonesty affects INFJs so deeply is because they value honesty and integrity above everything else. They have a stubborn idealistic trait that convinces them that everyone is honest, which makes it difficult for them to accept when someone proves otherwise. This can lead to trust issues for INFJs, as they struggle to reconcile their belief in the inherent goodness of people with the reality of dishonesty and lack of integrity.
When it comes to relationships, INFJs need to be able to trust their partner completely. Dishonesty and lack of integrity can erode that trust and make it difficult for the relationship to thrive. INFJs are not willing to compromise on their values or principles, so someone who lies or acts with questionable motives will quickly find themselves on the outs with an INFJ.
Inability To Connect On A Deep Level
One of the biggest challenges for INFJs is finding someone who they can connect with on a deep level. INFJs value authenticity and genuine connections, and they often struggle to find this with others. They need time to open up and feel comfortable with someone before sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings. This can make them appear aloof or cold to strangers who don’t realize that they are just waiting for someone to ask.
Joining groups or clubs is a great way for INFJs to meet new people, but it can also be exhausting for them because the conversation is usually based on common interests, leaving them with a lot of small talk and superficial chatter. INFJs want real connections, not just surface-level acquaintances. They prefer conversations that involve exploring ideas and emotions rather than just facts and opinions.
INFJs are also excellent listeners, but they often struggle to communicate feedback that might hurt someone’s feelings. They can be too considerate, which can make it difficult for them to be completely honest. This stems from their desire for harmony, but it can also prevent them from forming deep connections with others.
Close-Mindedness And Inflexibility
INFJs are known for their open-mindedness, but they can be turned off by close-mindedness and inflexibility in others. INFJs are highly intuitive and value personal growth, so when they encounter someone who is unwilling to consider different perspectives or try new things, it can be frustrating and even off-putting.
Close-mindedness often stems from fear and anxiety, and INFJs understand this. However, they also believe that growth and progress come from being open to new ideas and experiences. When someone is unwilling to consider other viewpoints or approaches, it can feel like they are limiting their own potential for growth.
Inflexibility is also a turn-off for INFJs. They value structure and planning, but they also understand the importance of being adaptable and open to change. When someone is rigid in their thinking or unwilling to deviate from their plans, it can feel like they are not willing to take risks or embrace new opportunities.
Overall, INFJs appreciate individuals who are open-minded, curious, and willing to learn and grow. Close-mindedness and inflexibility can be major turn-offs for INFJs, as they value personal growth and progress above all else.
