ENFJs are known for their warmth, empathy, and consideration towards others. They work hard to ensure that their loved ones feel listened to, cared for, and understood.
However, despite their friendly and outgoing nature, there are certain phrases that can infuriate an ENFJ. In this blog post, we’ll take a look at what not to say to an ENFJ, as well as some tips on how to communicate effectively with this personality type.
So if you want to avoid hurting the feelings of your ENFJ friends or loved ones, keep reading!
What Not To Say To An ENFJ
First and foremost, it’s important to avoid telling an ENFJ to “calm down,” “relax,” or “stop being so sensitive.” These phrases are universally hated and can be especially hurtful to an ENFJ who values empathy and emotional connection.
Additionally, avoid criticizing or judging an ENFJ, especially if you are someone they care about. ENFJs take criticism to heart and may feel like they are a burden to society if they receive negative feedback. Instead, try to offer constructive feedback in a gentle and supportive manner.
It’s also important to avoid focusing too much on specific details when communicating with an ENFJ. They tend to focus on the big picture and may become frustrated or bored with too much detail. Instead, try to communicate in a clear and concise manner.
Finally, avoid being negative or pessimistic around an ENFJ. They thrive on positivity and may become stressed or drained by negativity. Instead, try to maintain a positive outlook and offer encouragement and support.
You’re Too Sensitive
If you are a highly sensitive person, it can be challenging to interact with an ENFJ. ENFJs tend to be warm, outgoing, and sociable, which can be overwhelming for someone who is highly sensitive. It’s important to understand that being highly sensitive is not a weakness or something that can be easily controlled. Therefore, avoid telling an ENFJ that they are “too sensitive” or that they need to toughen up.
Instead, try to communicate your own needs in a gentle and respectful manner. ENFJs are empathetic and caring individuals who will understand and respect your boundaries if you communicate them clearly. It’s also important to remember that ENFJs tend to take criticism to heart, so try to offer constructive feedback in a positive and supportive way.
Additionally, highly sensitive people tend to pick up on the emotions of others easily. Therefore, it’s important to maintain a positive and supportive attitude around an ENFJ. Avoid being negative or pessimistic, as this can drain their energy and leave them feeling stressed or overwhelmed.
I Don’t Have Time For This Right Now
When communicating with an ENFJ, it’s important to avoid dismissing their feelings or rushing them through their emotions. Saying things like “I don’t have time for this right now” can be hurtful and dismissive, causing the ENFJ to feel like their emotions are a burden or inconvenience. ENFJs need time to process their emotions and may need extra support and understanding during difficult times. It’s important to make time for them and show that their feelings are valid and important. Rushing an ENFJ through their emotions can cause them to feel overwhelmed and may lead to them shutting down emotionally. Instead, offer a listening ear and show that you care about their well-being. This will help build trust and strengthen the relationship in the long run.
You’re Being Too Emotional
One phrase that can be particularly infuriating for an ENFJ is being told that they are “being too emotional.” ENFJs are naturally empathetic and considerate individuals who value emotional connection with others. They put a lot of effort into ensuring that their loved ones feel listened to, cared for, and understood. Being told that they are “too emotional” can feel dismissive and invalidating of their efforts to connect with others.
It’s important to remember that emotions are a natural and necessary part of being human, and ENFJs are no exception. They may experience emotions more intensely than other personality types, but this is not a flaw or weakness. Rather, it is a strength that allows them to connect deeply with others and understand their needs and feelings.
If you find yourself in a situation where an ENFJ seems to be expressing their emotions in a way that makes you uncomfortable, try to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Instead of telling them to “calm down” or “stop being so emotional,” try to listen actively and validate their feelings. Acknowledge that their emotions are valid and important, and offer support and comfort if needed.
Remember, ENFJs value emotional connection and empathy above all else. By showing them that you understand and respect their emotions, you can strengthen your relationship with them and build a deeper connection based on trust and understanding.
Why Can’t You Just Relax?
As an ENFJ, relaxation can be difficult to achieve when feeling stressed or worried. It’s important to understand that ENFJs have an inherent need to talk through their problems and concerns with trusted friends or family members. This is because ENFJs value empathy and emotional connection in their relationships, and discussing their worries with others helps them feel better.
Telling an ENFJ to “just relax” can be frustrating and dismissive of their emotions. It’s important to offer support and understanding instead of invalidating their feelings. ENFJs may also struggle with relaxing if they feel like they are not meeting the needs of those around them. They work hard to ensure that all their friends and family members feel listened to, cared for, and understood. If they feel like they are falling short in this area, it can be difficult for them to relax and let go of their worries.
It’s also important to note that ENFJs can be easily blinded by their inferior function, Introverted Thinking (Ti). Without understanding the impact of Ti on their decisions and behavior, ENFJs may struggle with unhealthy decision-making and feel incomplete. This can add to their stress levels and make it even more difficult for them to relax.
Communicating Effectively With An ENFJ
When communicating with an ENFJ, it’s important to focus on the big picture and how your message will positively impact humanity. They value empathy and emotional connection, so it’s important to show compassion and kindness in your words. Be sincere, focused, and show that you care about them by maintaining eye contact.
If you need to give criticism, make sure to start by pointing out areas where you appreciate them first. Let them know that the criticism isn’t meant to harm or hurt their feelings. It’s also important to avoid rushing them along or cutting them off. ENFJs like to “talk things out” and will feel frustrated if someone hurries them along too much.
When communicating with an ENFJ, it’s important to avoid dismissing their feelings or values or trying to talk them out of anything that has been laid on their conscience. They care deeply about their relationships with people and work hard to ensure that all their friends and family members feel listened to, cared for, and understood.
ENFJs also tend to communicate in abstract language, metaphors, or stories to bring out their points effectively. While that can be witty and brilliant, it’s important to communicate in a practical manner when speaking with an ENFJ. Present information in a sequential, logical order and show pros and cons where necessary. Give hard data and concrete evidence to support your decisions and opinions as well.
In summary, when communicating with an ENFJ, focus on the big picture, show compassion and kindness, avoid rushing them along or cutting them off, and communicate in a clear and concise manner. By following these guidelines, you can effectively communicate with an ENFJ and build a strong relationship based on mutual understanding and respect.
