Have you ever crossed paths with an INFJ and wondered why they seem to have a cold exterior?
Or maybe you’ve experienced the infamous “door slam” from an INFJ and are left wondering what you did wrong.
INFJs are highly sensitive individuals who process information deeply and react strongly to both positive and negative experiences.
When hurt, they may seem distant or even cut toxic people out of their lives completely.
In this article, we’ll explore what happens when you hurt an INFJ and how to navigate conflicts with them in a way that respects their sensitivity.
So buckle up and get ready to dive into the world of the INFJ personality type.
What Happens When You Hurt An INFJ
When an INFJ is hurt, they may retreat into themselves and seem distant or cold. This is because INFJs process information deeply and need time to reflect on their emotions. They may also cut toxic people out of their lives completely, which is known as the “door slam”.
The door slam isn’t about punishing the other person, but rather about protecting themselves from further hurt. INFJs have soft hearts and can only take so much pain before they need to remove themselves from the situation.
If you find yourself on the receiving end of an INFJ door slam, know that it was not a decision made lightly. INFJs are loyal friends and partners who give people numerous chances to redeem themselves. However, there comes a point where enough is enough and they need to move on for their own well-being.
It’s important to note that INFJs are highly sensitive individuals who react strongly to both positive and negative experiences. If you hurt an INFJ during a conflict, it’s important to give them space to process their emotions. Dismissing their feelings or making them feel like they’re being irrational will only make things worse.
Instead, try to approach conflicts with an INFJ in a calm and respectful manner. Listen to their perspective and validate their feelings. INFJs appreciate when others take the time to understand them and their emotions.
Understanding The INFJ Personality Type
To understand how an INFJ reacts to being hurt, it’s important to understand their personality type. INFJs are known as the “Advocate” personality type and are one of the rarest types, making up only 1-2% of the population.
Elaine Aron, a psychologist who coined the term “highly sensitive person,” describes INFJs as having a depth of processing, being easily overstimulated, having strong emotional responsivity/empathy, and being sensitive to subtleties. This means that INFJs process information more deeply than others and are more aware of emotions and subtle changes in their environment.
INFJs are also highly empathetic and feel other people’s emotions as if they were their own. This can make them great listeners and counselors, but it can also leave them vulnerable to getting hurt in relationships.
When an INFJ is hurt, they may retreat into themselves and need time to process their emotions. They may also cut toxic people out of their lives completely, as they have a low tolerance for emotional pain. This decision is not made lightly and is done to protect themselves from further hurt.
In times of extreme stress, INFJs may fall into the grip of their inferior sensing side, becoming short-sighted, reckless, and impulsive. It’s important for INFJs to find healthy ways to cope with stress and avoid potentially dangerous behavior.
The Strong Emotional Reaction Of INFJs To Hurt
INFJs have a strong emotional reaction to hurt due to their highly sensitive nature. They process information deeply and are acutely aware of their own emotions and the emotions of those around them. This sensitivity can make them particularly empathetic, but it also leaves them vulnerable to getting hurt in relationships.
When an INFJ is hurt, they may experience intense emotions such as sadness, anger, or betrayal. They may retreat into themselves and become distant or cold as a way to protect themselves from further pain. This can be confusing for others who may not understand why the INFJ is suddenly shutting them out.
The “door slam” is a coping mechanism that INFJs use to protect themselves from toxic people or situations that are causing them emotional pain. While it may seem harsh, it’s important to understand that INFJs have a limited capacity for emotional pain and need to prioritize their own well-being.
If an INFJ feels hurt, they may need time and space to process their emotions before they can fully engage in a conversation about what happened. It’s important to approach conflicts with an INFJ in a calm and respectful manner, validating their feelings and listening to their perspective.
The INFJ Door Slam: What It Means And Why It Happens
The INFJ door slam is a drastic measure that INFJs take when they feel like they can no longer tolerate a person’s toxicity. It’s a way for them to protect themselves from further emotional pain. When an INFJ door slams someone, they cut them out of their life completely, blocking out their emotions and treating the individual like they don’t exist.
This process can happen in two magnitudes, either in mild or intense manners. In mild situations, INFJs may find it hard to slam the door completely on a family member or co-worker merely because they see each other frequently. In this case, they may choose to be emotionally distant around that person. In more severe situations where proximity isn’t an issue, INFJs can choose to slam the door with acts like deleting a person’s pictures, unfollowing them on social media, or acting like they never existed in their life.
The INFJ door slam is not about revenge or punishment. It’s about self-preservation and protecting their emotional well-being. INFJs are generally quite sensitive to the words and actions of others, and they need harmony, strong emotional support, and a healthy give-and-take in their relationships to thrive. They tend to be patient and forgiving of others’ shortcomings, but even INFJs have their breaking point.
When an unhealthy relationship becomes draining and damaging, the INFJ must remove it to save their sanity. Usually, the door is slammed only as a last resort. The door slam is often preceded by signs such as becoming distant, stopping confiding in the person, focusing on their own needs, becoming numb to pain, and becoming apathetic.
How To Approach And Resolve Conflicts With An INFJ
When approaching a conflict with an INFJ, it’s important to keep in mind that they value harmony and peace in their relationships. This means that they may avoid confrontation or sweep issues under the rug in order to maintain the status quo.
To effectively resolve conflicts with an INFJ, it’s important to create a safe and non-judgmental space where they feel comfortable expressing their emotions. This may mean giving them time to process their feelings before engaging in a conversation.
When discussing the conflict, it’s important to listen actively and validate their feelings. INFJs appreciate when others take the time to understand their perspective and emotions. It’s also important to avoid making accusations or blaming them for the conflict. Instead, focus on finding a solution that works for both parties.
INFJs tend to analyze situations deeply and may need time to reflect on the conflict before coming up with a solution. It’s important to give them this space and not rush them into making a decision.
When resolving conflicts with an INFJ, it’s important to keep communication open and honest. INFJs value authenticity and transparency in their relationships. This means being willing to admit fault and apologize when necessary.
Respecting The Sensitivity Of INFJs In Relationships And Friendships
INFJs are empathetic creatures who deeply care about the emotional well-being of their loved ones. They often put the needs of others before their own, which can lead to them feeling drained and overwhelmed. It’s important to respect the sensitivity of INFJs in relationships and friendships to maintain a healthy dynamic.
One way to respect an INFJ’s sensitivity is by being mindful of your words and actions. INFJs are highly attuned to the emotions of others, and even small comments or gestures can have a big impact on them. Try to avoid being critical or dismissive of their feelings, and instead, offer words of encouragement and support.
Another way to respect an INFJ’s sensitivity is by giving them space when they need it. INFJs may become overwhelmed in social situations or when dealing with conflict, and they may need time alone to recharge. It’s important to respect their boundaries and not take it personally if they need time away.
Additionally, it’s important to avoid taking advantage of an INFJ’s giving nature. INFJs often attract toxic or emotionally needy people who take advantage of their kindness. It’s important to appreciate their efforts and reciprocate with mutual support and understanding.
In summary, respecting the sensitivity of INFJs in relationships and friendships involves being mindful of your words and actions, giving them space when needed, and avoiding taking advantage of their giving nature. By doing so, you can create a healthy and supportive relationship with an INFJ that benefits both parties involved.
