Have you ever met someone who seems to be a walking contradiction?
Someone who is both emotional and logical, compassionate yet decisive, and deeply organized but also lost in thought?
If so, you may have encountered an INFJ personality type.
INFJs are rare individuals who possess a unique set of characteristics that can make them difficult to spot at first glance.
But fear not, because in this article we will explore the telltale signs that someone is an INFJ.
From their listening skills to their love of abstract concepts, we’ll cover it all.
So buckle up and get ready to learn how to spot an INFJ in your life.
How To Tell If Someone Is An INFJ
1. They Listen Intently
One of the most noticeable traits of an INFJ is their ability to listen intently. When you’re talking to an INFJ, they will offer non-verbal and sometimes verbal feedback that lets you know they understand and are relating to you. They respond in ways that let you continue directing the conversation where you want it to go.
2. They Are Both Emotional and Logical
INFJs place a greater emphasis on their emotions than objective facts when making decisions. But this doesn’t mean they see the world through rose-colored glasses. INFJs understand the world, both the good and the bad, and hope to be able to make it better.
3. They Are Compassionate
With their strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding, INFJs can be soft-spoken and empathetic. This does not mean that they are pushovers, however. INFJs have deeply held beliefs and the ability to act decisively to get what they want.
4. They Are Organized
People with an INFJ personality type like to exert control by planning, organizing, and making decisions as early as possible. They keep a mental list of their tasks and are reliable as leaders, workers, or creatives.
5. They Love Abstract Concepts
INFJs often include abstract and symbolic terms, and references that don’t quite make sense to most others around them in their conversations. They get excited about deep questions but often need to think before responding.
6. They Can Be Difficult To Get To Know
INFJs tend to have trouble finding others who see the world in the same realm as they do. Most people who are this type have admitted feeling different from their peers since they were a very young child. They may get flustered and have trouble organizing their thoughts if you ask them a question they don’t have a ready answer for.
What Is An INFJ Personality Type?
An INFJ personality type is one of the rarest types in the Myers-Briggs® system. INFJs are known for their keen insights, warm empathy, and profound insight into human potential. They are introverted by nature but can form strong, meaningful connections with other people. INFJs are both emotional and logical when making decisions, placing a greater emphasis on their emotions than objective facts. They are compassionate, with a strong sense of intuition and emotional understanding. INFJs have deeply held beliefs and the ability to act decisively to get what they want.
INFJs love abstract concepts and often include abstract and symbolic terms, and references that don’t quite make sense to most others around them in their conversations. They enjoy helping others but also need time and space to recharge. INFJs tend to have trouble finding others who see the world in the same realm as they do, and most people who are this type have admitted feeling different from their peers since they were a very young child.
INFJs are organized and like to exert control by planning, organizing, and making decisions as early as possible. They keep a mental list of their tasks and are reliable as leaders, workers, or creatives. However, INFJs can be difficult to get to know because they may get flustered and have trouble organizing their thoughts if you ask them a question they don’t have a ready answer for.
The Unique Traits Of An INFJ
In addition to the above characteristics, INFJs possess some unique traits that set them apart from other personality types. One of the most prominent INFJ signs is their caring and compassionate nature. This forms their advocate personality because they naturally look out for everyone around them. It’s one of the rarest character traits because it portrays a deep sense of selflessness. If you find yourself constantly striving to make those around you happy, even in the smallest ways, you might be an INFJ.
Another unique trait of an INFJ is their ability to translate their idealism into action. They don’t just dream about changing the world—they make it happen. INFJs have a talent for helping others with original solutions to their personal challenges. The Counselor has a unique ability to intuit others’ emotions and motivations, and will often know how someone else is feeling before that person knows it himself. They trust their insights about others and have strong faith in their ability to read people.
INFJs search for meaning and purpose in their lives and in the outer world. They tend to have an immense interest in deeply understanding culture, society, and the universe as a whole. INFJs naturally see how every thought or action could potentially have important consequences, either positive or negative. This reflective and curious worldview gives INFJs a unique perspective and thoughtful approach to how they interact with others and the world around them.
Ultimately, INFJs seek to turn their abstract and intellectual musings into concrete actions that can be applied and make a transformative impact on others. Although it is common for INFJs to get stuck in their heads and struggle with taking action, when they are at their best, their actions are aligned with their authentic values.
One of the hardships of having this personality type is that INFJs despise interpersonal conflict. They enjoy being in harmonious, peaceful environments and find places of conflict and criticism highly stressful. While some types can compartmentalize conflict or even enjoy a certain amount of volatility and debate, INFJs find themselves deeply stressed and troubled by it. They may give in or rush to get past the conflict only to realize they should have stood up for themselves more.
INFJs And Their Listening Skills
When it comes to listening skills, INFJs excel in this area. They are known for being attentive and empathetic to other people’s feelings. Whenever one communicates with an INFJ, he or she instantly feels just how much they care about the people they know. They offer non-verbal cues that show their interest in the conversation and make the other person feel heard and understood.
INFJs have a unique ability to read between the lines and pick up on subtle cues that others may miss. They are excellent at understanding the emotions behind what someone is saying and can often provide insightful feedback. INFJs have a way of making people feel comfortable enough to open up to them, which is why they are often sought out as confidants.
One thing to note is that INFJs can sometimes come across as reserved in their communication. This is because they take time to sort out their thoughts and feelings before responding. They want to make sure they are giving the other person their full attention and providing a thoughtful response.
The INFJ’s Love Of Abstract Concepts
One of the defining characteristics of an INFJ is their love of abstract concepts. They are often drawn to the arts and sciences because these fields give them an opportunity to think and reflect, which they love to do because both those functions are introverted. INFJs are “idea generators” much more than they are “detail people,” and they love to discover “win-win” solutions that have a long term positive impact on people. They spend more time than most reflecting on the complex nuances or shades of grey in issues.
INFJs are highly intellectually curious and tend to shine during the initial “big picture,” “vision setting” stage of most projects or meetings. They gain much more energy from “noodling” abstract concepts and ideas than doing straightforward detail-based execution. INFJs can sometimes appear, and believe themselves to be, a cold, logical Thinking type. However, they combine their love of ideas and ability to understand abstract theory (introverted intuition) with their interest in logic and facts (introverted thinking) to create a personality type that is drawn to both the arts and sciences.
INFJs often include abstract and symbolic terms, and references that don’t quite make sense to most others around them in their conversations. They get excited about deep questions but often need to think before responding. This tendency can make them appear distant or unapproachable, but it is simply a reflection of their deep thinking process.
INFJs And Their Strong Sense Of Intuition
One of the most remarkable traits of an INFJ is their strong sense of intuition. INFJs combine Introverted Intuition (Ni) with Extraverted Sensing (Se) to gather copious amounts of sensory information from the external world, which is then stored in a web of information inside their mind. Using Introverted Intuition, they scan through all of the information, connecting dots, seeing which patterns manifest themselves, and interpreting all the clues to formulate a projection of what may happen further down the road. This intuitive process is done in a nearly unconscious way by the INFJ, which is why many of their revelations may seem to appear “out of the blue.” They themselves may not even realize in the moment how they received these insights, but after careful consideration, they are able to understand how the different clues led them to their insight.
Someone with strong Introverted Intuition may sense that something doesn’t feel right with someone they know. They are extremely adept at interpreting body language and vocal tones to discover if anything seems out of the ordinary or betrays any underlying emotions. They collect all this information and then their mind reflects on it nearly unconsciously to determine what it means, connecting all the significant details that, to others, might have gone unnoticed. The INFJ may experience an “aha!” moment of suddenly understanding what is wrong with the person who showed what to others may seem as a barely recognizable difference from normal behavior.
However, INFJs can come across as indecisive for those who don’t know them well. This happens when an INFJ does not internally trust their judgment; they can take forever to make a decision as they measure how their decision impacts others and wonder if it’s the right choice after all. As an INFJ myself, I can extensively weigh the pros and cons of a situation after forming an instinct about something. This happens most often when I feel critiqued or challenged by others. Maybe someone pointed out a minor fault in my reasoning. That’s enough for me to ignore my instincts and start dwelling in doubt.
How To Communicate Effectively With An INFJ
Now that you know the characteristics of an INFJ, it’s important to understand how to communicate effectively with them. Here are some tips:
1. Be Encouraging and Affirming
INFJs value harmony in their relationships, be it work or personal. Spending time to build a good relationship with INFJs will help them be more effective in their work. Be sincere when you approach INFJs for help, and be supportive of the work INFJs are doing. Show that you appreciate their contribution and listen carefully to their insights to show your consideration and respect.
2. Share the Big Picture and Share Personal Meaning
INFJs want the work they do to have personal meaning and of humanistic value to the world. For them to be truly effective, they must believe that whatever they’re putting their hands to is making the world a better place. When you give them a task, talk about the big picture and what it means personally to you. When you bring personal meaning and values into a work task, it becomes far more important for the INFJ to complete and accomplish well. Also, don’t focus on too much detail about the task required or spend too much time on immediate realities.
3. Give Them Time to Process Their Thoughts
INFJs need time to consider new information, data, and to make mental connections. When you share new information with them, don’t ask for an immediate buy-in or response to them. Give them some time alone after you feed them the new information. If you’re in a meeting, move on to someone else first before coming back to the INFJ. If you’re in a one-to-one meeting, take one meeting to give them the new information, and another to hear their thoughts about it.
4. Offer Feedback or Make Changes Early
Being organized people, INFJs dislike last-minute changes, and it can be a source of stress for them. As much as it is in your control, notify INFJs early when making plans or changes. Ensure that you give INFJs enough time to consider and react to the information.
5. Show You Understand
Leave INFJs feeling understood by taking the time to listen carefully to their insights and considering their values and contributions. Recognize that they need time to process their thoughts and feelings before responding.
By following these tips, you can communicate effectively with an INFJ and build a strong relationship with them. Remember that INFJs value relationships deeply and appreciate those who take the time to understand and support them.
