Are you trying to win back the heart of an INFJ?
As the rarest personality type in the world, INFJs are known for their empathy, authenticity, and deep caring for others. But when an INFJ feels hurt or misunderstood, they may shut down and block people out as a tactic of self-preservation.
So, how can you get an INFJ back if you’ve caused them pain?
In this article, we’ll explore some tips and strategies for winning back the trust and affection of an INFJ. Whether you’re a friend, family member, or romantic partner, these insights will help you understand the unique needs and desires of this complex personality type.
So, let’s dive in and discover how to get an INFJ back on your side.
How To Get An INFJ Back
1. Apologize sincerely and specifically
If you’ve hurt an INFJ, the first step to winning them back is to apologize sincerely and specifically. INFJs value authenticity and honesty, so it’s important to acknowledge the specific actions or words that caused them pain. Be genuine in your apology and avoid making excuses or shifting blame.
2. Listen actively
INFJs appreciate people who are willing to listen and understand their perspective. When trying to win back an INFJ, it’s important to listen actively and show that you’re willing to understand their feelings and needs. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their concerns, and be patient as they express themselves.
3. Avoid inauthentic gestures
INFJs can spot inauthenticity from a mile away, so avoid trying to win them back with grand gestures or gifts that aren’t true to your character. Instead, focus on being yourself and showing genuine care and concern for the INFJ’s well-being.
4. Respect their boundaries
If an INFJ has shut you out of their life, it’s important to respect their boundaries and give them space if they need it. Don’t try to force your way back into their life or pressure them into forgiving you. Instead, be patient and respectful of their needs.
5. Show consistent effort
Winning back an INFJ’s trust takes time and effort. Show that you’re committed to making things right by consistently demonstrating your care and concern for them. Be reliable, dependable, and consistent in your actions and words.
Understanding The INFJ Personality Type
INFJs are complex and empathetic individuals who value deep connections with others. They are intuitive and perceptive, often able to read people’s emotions and thoughts even when they try to hide them. INFJs are also highly sensitive, and can become overwhelmed by too much stimulation or conflict.
When it comes to relationships, INFJs are loyal and devoted partners who value intimacy and emotional connection. They are patient listeners who will go out of their way to support their loved ones. However, they can also become hurt or disillusioned if they feel that their trust has been betrayed.
One of the most challenging aspects of the INFJ personality is the “door slam” behavior. When an INFJ feels that a relationship has become toxic or irreparable, they may abruptly cut off all contact with that person. This can be confusing and painful for the other party, who may not understand what they did wrong.
To avoid triggering the door slam behavior, it’s important to be honest and transparent in your communication with an INFJ. They value authenticity and dislike manipulation or hidden agendas. It’s also important to give them space when they need it, as INFJs can become overwhelmed by too much social interaction.
Identifying The Root Cause Of The Disconnection
INFJs are known for having high expectations of those they are close to, and this can sometimes lead to disconnection in relationships. It’s important to identify the root cause of the disconnection in order to effectively address it and win back the INFJ’s trust.
One possible cause of disconnection for INFJs is feeling like their values and beliefs are not being respected or understood. INFJs have a strong sense of morality and integrity, and if they feel like their values are being compromised or dismissed, they may withdraw from the relationship. It’s important to have open and honest communication about values and beliefs, and to make an effort to understand and respect each other’s perspectives.
Another possible cause of disconnection for INFJs is feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated. INFJs can be highly sensitive to their environment and may need time alone to recharge. If an INFJ feels like they are not getting enough alone time or that their personal space is being invaded, they may withdraw from the relationship. It’s important to respect an INFJ’s need for solitude and give them space when they need it.
Finally, feeling like their efforts are not appreciated or reciprocated can also cause disconnection for INFJs. INFJs tend to be highly invested in their relationships and may feel hurt or resentful if they feel like their efforts are not being recognized or reciprocated. It’s important to show appreciation for an INFJ’s efforts and make an effort to reciprocate in kind.
By identifying the root cause of the disconnection, you can take steps to address it and win back the trust of the INFJ. Remember to be patient, genuine, and consistent in your efforts, and always prioritize open and honest communication.
Apologizing And Taking Responsibility
One of the most important steps in winning back an INFJ is taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing sincerely. It’s essential to acknowledge the specific actions or words that caused them pain and express genuine remorse for your behavior. Avoid making excuses or shifting blame, and be willing to accept full responsibility for your actions.
Use “I” statements when apologizing and avoid using language that negates your responsibility. You can explain what led you to do what you did, but don’t use it as a way to avoid taking responsibility. Remember, it’s still you who caused the harm, and the damage is as it is.
It’s important to mean your apology and take steps to prevent similar behavior in the future. Work on yourself and change any unwanted characteristics that led to the hurtful behavior. If you repeatedly hurt the INFJ in the same manner, your attempt to make amends may be perceived as pointless or manipulative.
Offer to make fair restitution if possible, even if it’s impossible to fully restitute the harm caused. This shows that you’re committed to making things right and restoring trust with the INFJ.
Don’t make the apology about yourself or pressure the INFJ to forgive you. Be empathetic and focus on making things right and restoring trust with your fellow human being. It’s not about managing your feelings but about acknowledging your mistakes and taking steps to make amends.
Giving Them Space And Time
One of the most important things to remember when trying to win back an INFJ is to give them space and time. INFJs value their alone time and need it to recharge, especially after experiencing emotional pain. If an INFJ has asked for space or has distanced themselves from you, it’s important to respect their needs and give them the time they require.
Giving an INFJ space doesn’t mean that you should completely disappear from their life. It’s important to maintain open communication and let them know that you’re still there for them if they need you. However, it’s important to avoid overwhelming them with constant messages or calls. Instead, try to find a balance that works for both of you.
During this time, it’s also important to focus on self-improvement. Use this time to reflect on your actions and consider how you can prevent similar situations from happening in the future. INFJs appreciate people who are willing to take responsibility for their actions and work towards self-improvement.
When the INFJ is ready to reconnect, be sure to approach the situation with care and respect. Don’t pressure them into talking or spending time with you if they’re not ready. Instead, let them take the lead and follow their cues.
Rebuilding Trust Through Consistency And Authenticity
One of the most important aspects of rebuilding trust with an INFJ is consistency and authenticity. INFJs value people who are genuine and consistent in their actions and words. To win back an INFJ’s trust, you need to show that you’re committed to being true to yourself and to your promises.
Consistency is key when it comes to rebuilding trust. You need to show the INFJ that you’re reliable and dependable, and that you’re willing to put in the effort to make things right. This means following through on your promises, showing up when you say you will, and being there for the INFJ when they need you.
At the same time, it’s important to be authentic. INFJs can spot inauthenticity from a mile away, so it’s important to be true to yourself and your values. Don’t try to win back the INFJ’s trust with grand gestures or gifts that aren’t true to your character. Instead, focus on being yourself and showing genuine care and concern for the INFJ’s well-being.
One way to show consistency and authenticity is through your communication. Be honest and open about your feelings, and be willing to listen actively to the INFJ’s perspective. Avoid making excuses or shifting blame, and take responsibility for your actions. This will show the INFJ that you’re committed to being genuine and authentic in your interactions with them.
Honoring Their Boundaries And Needs
For INFJs, honoring their boundaries and needs is crucial for building trust and maintaining a healthy relationship. INFJs have a strong need for alone time to process their thoughts and emotions, and they may feel overwhelmed or drained by too much social interaction. It’s important to recognize and respect these needs, even if it means spending less time together than you would like.
When an INFJ sets boundaries, it’s important to honor them. This means not pressuring them to do things they’re uncomfortable with, such as attending social events or engaging in activities that drain their energy. It also means respecting their need for space and alone time, even if it feels like they’re pushing you away.
To honor an INFJ’s needs, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly. Ask them what they need from you in order to feel comfortable and supported, and be willing to adjust your behavior accordingly. This may mean scheduling regular check-ins or finding ways to support them from a distance.
It’s also important to recognize that INFJs may have a tendency to put others’ needs before their own. Encourage them to prioritize self-care and take time for themselves, even if it means saying no to external demands. By showing that you respect and support their boundaries and needs, you can build a stronger and more trusting relationship with an INFJ.
