Breakups can be tough for anyone, but for INFJs, the emotional toll can be especially heavy.
As natural introverts who value deep connections and trust, INFJs may struggle to let go of a relationship that meant a lot to them.
But how do they cope with heartbreak and move on?
In this article, we’ll explore the unique ways that INFJs deal with breakups, from seeking spiritual comfort to the infamous “door slam” technique.
So if you’re an INFJ going through a breakup, or just curious about how these complex personalities handle romantic loss, read on for some insights and tips.
How INFJ Deal With Break Up
1. Seeking Spiritual Comfort
While not all INFJs are religious, many are spiritual and believe in a higher power or ideal that transcends themselves. For those who do practice a religion, turning to prayer, reading sacred texts, or listening to worship music can provide comfort and solace during a breakup.
Even for those who don’t follow a specific religion, finding hope and inspiration in something greater than themselves can be helpful. Whether it’s through meditation, reading uplifting books, or listening to calming music, INFJs often seek out sources of positivity and hope to help them through the pain of heartbreak.
2. Avoiding Unethical Behavior
INFJs value honesty and authenticity in their relationships, and any kind of unethical behavior is a major turnoff for them. They need time to open up and trust their partners, so if that trust is broken with lies or half-truths, it’s unlikely they will be able to forgive and move on.
INFJs want to know their partners completely and wholly, so if they feel like the story is being shifted or they’re not being heard or seen, they may quickly lose trust and shut down emotionally.
3. Balancing Alone Time
As natural introverts, INFJs need time alone to recharge their batteries. However, too much alone time can lead to rumination and obsession, which can be detrimental to their mental health.
After a breakup, it’s important for INFJs to take some time alone to reflect and process their emotions. But they should also make sure not to isolate themselves too much and fall into a dark place of loss and emptiness.
4. The Infamous “Door Slam”
INFJs are known for their tendency to “door slam” people out of their lives when they feel deeply hurt or betrayed. This can take many forms, from distancing themselves from someone who no longer adds value to their life to completely cutting off someone who has done irreparable damage.
If an INFJ door slams someone after a breakup, it’s unlikely they will reopen the door easily. It’s important for the other person to give them space and time to find their center and peace of mind. If they do want to try to rekindle the relationship, they should make sure the INFJ feels understood and heard.
5. Allowing Time for Healing
Finally, it’s important for INFJs to allow themselves time to heal after a breakup. They may feel intense sadness, anger, hurt, and remorse, but it’s important for them to really feel these emotions so they can move on when the time is right for them.
Whether it’s through seeking spiritual comfort, avoiding unethical behavior, balancing alone time, door slamming if necessary, or simply allowing themselves time to grieve, INFJs have unique ways of dealing with breakups that reflect their complex personalities.
The Emotional Turmoil Of INFJ Breakups
INFJs are known for their intense emotions and deep connections to others, which can make breakups especially difficult for them. When an INFJ invests themselves in a relationship, they do so with their whole heart and soul, leaving them vulnerable to intense emotional turmoil when the relationship ends.
One of the biggest challenges INFJs face during a breakup is letting go of the trust they placed in their partner. INFJs are often reluctant to trust others, but when they do take that risk, it can be devastating when the relationship ends in heartbreak. They may blame themselves for trusting too easily and become defensive or angry, making it difficult to open up to others in the future.
INFJs also tend to be perfectionists in all aspects of their lives, including their relationships. When a relationship falls apart, they may feel like they have failed and struggle to let go of the sense of worth they derived from the relationship. This can make it difficult for them to move on and accept that the relationship is truly over.
Even after the relationship has ended, INFJs may continue to analyze what went wrong and try to bring things back to the way they used to be. They may know deep down that the relationship is over, but their heart refuses to accept it. This can make it challenging for them to let go and move on.
The infamous “door slam” is another common coping mechanism for INFJs during breakups. When an INFJ feels deeply hurt or betrayed, they may choose to cut off the person from their life without much communication. While this may seem abrupt and harsh, it’s often a well-thought-out decision based on subconscious data gathering. If someone has been door slammed by an INFJ, it’s important to give them space and time to process their emotions before attempting to reconnect.
Ultimately, INFJs need time and space to heal after a breakup. They may need to seek spiritual comfort, avoid unethical behavior, balance alone time with socializing, or simply allow themselves time to grieve. Whatever coping mechanisms they choose, it’s important for them to honor their emotions and give themselves permission to move on when they’re ready.
Seeking Spiritual Comfort: INFJ Coping Mechanisms
For INFJs who are spiritual or religious, seeking comfort in their faith can be a powerful coping mechanism during a breakup. Whether through prayer, reading sacred texts, or listening to worship music, connecting with a higher power can provide a sense of peace and hope during a difficult time.
Even for those who don’t follow a specific religion, finding inspiration and positivity in something greater than themselves can be helpful. Meditation, reading uplifting books, or listening to calming music can all provide a sense of comfort and solace.
INFJs often have a deep sense of purpose and meaning in their lives, and connecting with that purpose can help them navigate the pain of heartbreak. Whether through their faith or other sources of inspiration, seeking spiritual comfort can be a valuable tool for INFJs dealing with the aftermath of a breakup.
The Infamous Door Slam Technique: Why INFJs Cut Ties
One of the most well-known ways that INFJs deal with a breakup is through the infamous “door slam” technique. This technique involves cutting ties with someone completely, often without warning or explanation.
While this may seem like a drastic measure to outsiders, for INFJs, it’s often the only way to protect themselves from further hurt and emotional damage. The door slam can take many forms, from simply distancing themselves emotionally from someone to completely cutting them off from their life.
INFJs are deeply empathetic and caring individuals who invest a lot of time and energy into their relationships. As a result, when a relationship ends, they often feel deeply hurt and betrayed. The door slam is a way for them to protect themselves from further pain and to move on from the relationship.
It’s important to note that INFJs don’t door slam people lightly. It’s often the result of a long buildup of hurt and frustration, and there is usually a specific event or incident that triggers it. For example, if an INFJ feels like their partner has been dishonest or unfaithful, they may door slam them as a way to protect themselves from further betrayal.
The door slam can be difficult for the other person to understand or accept, especially if they don’t know what they did wrong. However, it’s important for them to respect the INFJ’s boundaries and give them the space they need to heal and move on.
In some cases, an INFJ may be willing to reopen the door if the other person shows genuine remorse and takes steps to make amends. However, this is rare, and it’s important for the other person to understand that the door may be closed permanently.
The Importance Of Self-Care For INFJs After A Breakup
Self-care is crucial for INFJs after a breakup. As caring and empathetic individuals, INFJs often prioritize the needs of others over their own, which can lead to neglecting their own emotional well-being. Here are some ways INFJs can practice self-care after a breakup:
1. Embrace Emotions
It’s important for INFJs to allow themselves to feel the full range of emotions that come with a breakup, whether it’s sadness, anger, or disappointment. Suppressing these emotions can lead to further emotional distress down the line. Instead, INFJs should allow themselves to fully experience and process their emotions.
2. Engage in Self-Care Activities
INFJs should engage in activities that bring them joy and comfort, whether it’s taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in a favorite hobby. These activities can provide a sense of comfort and help distract from negative emotions.
3. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga can help INFJs stay grounded and present in the moment. This can be especially helpful during times of emotional turmoil.
4. Seek Support
INFJs may have a tendency to isolate themselves during difficult times, but it’s important for them to seek support from trusted friends or family members. Talking about their feelings with someone they trust can provide a sense of relief and help them process their emotions.
5. Set Boundaries
INFJs may feel pressure to please others even after a breakup, but it’s important for them to set boundaries and prioritize their own needs. This may mean saying no to social events or taking time off from work if needed.
By prioritizing self-care after a breakup, INFJs can heal and move forward in a healthy way.
Moving On And Finding Closure: INFJ Strategies For Healing
INFJs have a deep capacity for hope and often struggle with letting go of past relationships without closure. However, there are several strategies that INFJs can use to find healing and closure after a breakup.
One important step for INFJs is to develop their Judging functions, which can help them process their emotions and move forward. This can be achieved through mindfulness practices such as meditation, which can help INFJs connect more deeply with themselves and realize that their past hurts do not control them.
INFJs should also be kind to themselves and acknowledge their own struggles and flaws. They should treat themselves with compassion and understanding, just as they would treat a loved one who is experiencing pain.
Talking about past pain with a trusted friend or family member can also be helpful for INFJs. While it may be scary to open up about past hurts, it is an essential key to healing. If dealing with trauma, INFJs may benefit from finding a therapist whom they trust and can open up to.
It’s important for INFJs to allow themselves time to heal after a breakup. They may feel intense emotions such as sadness, anger, hurt, and remorse, but it’s important for them to really feel these emotions so they can move on when the time is right for them.
Overall, INFJs have unique ways of dealing with breakups that reflect their complex personalities. By seeking spiritual comfort, avoiding unethical behavior, balancing alone time, door slamming if necessary, or simply allowing themselves time to grieve, INFJs can find healing and closure after a breakup.
