Are you an INFJ wondering what qualities you find attractive in others?
Or perhaps you’re curious about what draws INFJs to certain people?
As sensitive and empathetic individuals, INFJs are naturally drawn to kindness and compassion.
But there’s more to it than that.
In this article, we’ll explore the unique traits that INFJs find alluring, from their desire to make a positive impact on the world to their need for emotional safety and trust.
So sit back, relax, and discover what makes INFJs tick when it comes to attraction.
What Do INFJ Find Attractive
INFJs are known for their deep empathy and desire to connect with others on a meaningful level. As a result, they are naturally drawn to people who exhibit kindness and compassion towards others. They appreciate those who can connect with them in a gentle way, and who share their goal of making a positive impact on the world.
But what else do INFJs find attractive?
One of the most alluring qualities of an INFJ is their openness to anything and everything. As empaths, they know how to emotionally connect with their friends’ problems and make them feel heard and understood. Their open-mindedness is also why people around them want to be their friends. Who wouldn’t want to have a non-judgmental friend who always tries to understand you, even when you don’t make sense?
INFJs are also attracted to individuals who share their vision for the future. They are visionary, warm, supportive individuals with strong insights into human dynamics and relationships. They appreciate those who contribute in a positive way through a lens of compassion, and who strive to make a difference in the world.
However, when it comes to romantic relationships, INFJs can be quite cautious. They need to feel safe and comfortable with the person they like in order to be brave enough to flirt. They want to know that they can trust the person and that there’s at least a little hint of mutual attraction first. If you pass the INFJ’s safety-test, then they can go from being reserved, polite, and friendly to emotionally expressive, humorous, and steadfastly loyal.
It’s important to note that INFJs may need to be wary of searching for the “ideal relationship”. While they have lofty ideals where people are concerned, it’s important that they balance these ideals with realistic expectations. INFJs put high standards on themselves and expect the same from their partners. But people are flawed, and they will fail to satisfy the INFJ’s ideals from time to time. For this reason, it’s important that INFJs not put too much emphasis on outcomes or physical manifestations when it comes to what they expect from their partners.
Instead, INFJs do better to select a partner with great potential and willingness to learn and grow. This means finding someone with qualities such as a lack of ego-defensiveness, openness and honesty, etc. These foundations are good enough to qualify as “ultimate”, and the will to learn should be valued above performance on any of the INFJ’s given “stress tests”.
The Importance Of Kindness And Compassion
For INFJs, kindness and compassion are two of the most important traits they seek in a partner. As sensitive individuals, INFJs are naturally drawn to people who show empathy and consideration towards others. They appreciate those who can connect with them on a deeper level and understand their emotions.
Kindness is the most sought-after trait overall, according to research published in the Journal of Personality. This held true for both men and women across 59 countries, including Western and Eastern cultures. INFJs value kindness because it reflects a person’s ability to understand others’ feelings and act in a caring way towards them.
Compassion is another key trait that INFJs find attractive. They are drawn to people who share their desire to make a positive impact on the world. INFJs are visionary individuals who have strong insights into human dynamics and relationships. They appreciate those who contribute positively to society through a lens of compassion.
The Desire To Make A Positive Impact On The World
INFJs have a deep-rooted desire to make a difference in the world, and this is one of the most attractive qualities about them. They are motivated by the idea of leaving a lasting impact on others, and they aspire to contribute to society in a positive way. This desire is what motivates them each day and gives them a sense of purpose.
INFJs are drawn to individuals who share their passion for making a difference. They are attracted to people who are empathetic, compassionate, and driven by a desire to help others. INFJs value feeling and take into consideration the needs of others whenever they make a decision. They strive to maintain harmony and ensure the happiness of those around them.
Many INFJs are drawn to fields in counseling, social work, or religion because these fields allow them to make a positive impact on people’s lives. They are overrepresented in the fields of psychology, the arts, and religion because these fields align with their values and allow them to use their unique strengths to help others.
In romantic relationships, INFJs are attracted to individuals who share their vision for the future and who have a desire to make a positive impact on the world. They want to be with someone who is supportive, understanding, and empathetic towards others. They need to feel safe and comfortable with their partner before they can fully express their emotions.
The Need For Emotional Safety And Trust
For INFJs, emotional safety and trust are essential in any relationship, especially romantic ones. They need to feel secure and comfortable with their partner before they can fully open up and express their emotions. This is because INFJs are sensitive individuals who are easily affected by the emotions of others. They want to know that their feelings will be respected and protected.
INFJs are known for their ability to read other people’s emotions and thoughts. However, when it comes to seeing themselves from other people’s perspectives, they often struggle. They may feel paranoid that people think they’re weird or that they won’t like them because they’re different from others. This is why emotional safety and trust are so important for INFJs. They need to feel confident that their partner accepts them for who they are and won’t judge them.
INFJs express that they need to feel safe and comfortable with the person they like in order to be brave enough to flirt. They want to know that they can trust the person and that there’s at least a little hint of mutual attraction first. They might ask themselves questions like, “How comfortable are they with me? How honest are they? Are their intentions honorable? Will my feelings be safe with them?” If you pass the INFJ’s safety-test, then they can go from being reserved, polite, and friendly to emotionally expressive, humorous, and steadfastly loyal.
The Allure Of Authenticity And Vulnerability
One of the most attractive qualities for an INFJ is authenticity. INFJs value honesty and transparency, and they can easily detect when someone is not being genuine. They appreciate individuals who are willing to be themselves, flaws and all, without trying to impress or deceive them.
INFJs are also drawn to vulnerability. They see people as having many layers, and they want to peel back all the surface-layers and personas that get in the way of true understanding. When someone is vulnerable with an INFJ, it shows that they trust them and are willing to let their guard down. INFJs find this very appealing because it allows them to connect with the person on a deeper level.
However, vulnerability can be difficult for some people, and INFJs understand this. They don’t expect their partners to open up immediately, but they appreciate those who are willing to take small steps towards vulnerability over time. INFJs see vulnerability as a sign of strength rather than weakness, and they value partners who are willing to be emotionally honest with them.
The Appeal Of Intelligence And Creativity
One of the most important qualities that INFJs find attractive is intelligence and creativity. They are drawn to individuals who are intellectually curious, who have a deep understanding of complex topics, and who can engage in stimulating conversations. INFJs appreciate people who can challenge them intellectually and offer new perspectives on the world.
In addition to intelligence, INFJs are also attracted to creativity. They admire those who can think outside the box, who are innovative and imaginative, and who can express themselves in unique and interesting ways. INFJs are themselves creative individuals, and they often express their own creativity through writing, art, or other forms of self-expression. They appreciate partners who can share in this passion for creativity and who can inspire them to explore new avenues of self-expression.
For INFJs, intelligence and creativity are not just attractive qualities in a partner – they are also essential for building a fulfilling and meaningful relationship. INFJs crave deep connections with others, and they want to be able to engage in conversations that go beyond small talk or superficial topics. They want to be able to explore complex ideas and concepts with their partner, to challenge each other’s thinking, and to grow together intellectually.
Ultimately, the appeal of intelligence and creativity for INFJs is rooted in their desire for authenticity and depth in their relationships. They want partners who are genuine, thoughtful, and insightful – individuals who can help them navigate the complexities of life and find meaning in the world around them. For INFJs, a partner who embodies these qualities is truly irresistible.
The Draw Of Shared Values And Beliefs
INFJs are individuals who place a high value on deep, meaningful connections with others. As such, they are naturally drawn to people who share their same values and beliefs. INFJs are known for being idealistic at times and may not always be the most practical person in the world. Therefore, they need someone who can help them stay grounded and keep things in perspective when they need it most.
INFJs appreciate individuals who can hold emotional space for them. They absorb so many of people’s emotions themselves, so they value those who understand that the INFJ has her own emotional needs. This can mean listening, knowing when probing questions are unwelcome, or simply respecting an INFJ’s need for solitude.
INFJs are also on a constant quest for self-improvement. They are drawn to theories like Myers-Briggs or the enneagram, which promote self-knowledge and growth. They are rarely content to just stay as they are; they are always aiming for a higher level of awareness and potential. Therefore, INFJs are attracted to individuals who share their desire for personal growth and development.
INFJs value authenticity and sincerity in their relationships. They prefer small groups or one-on-one interactions where they can connect with others on a deeper level. They enjoy spending time with people who also share their values and beliefs, and who they can learn from and grow with. INFJs are happiest when they are able to converse with people they love and care about, so intimate quality time is a large source of joy for them.
In summary, INFJs find shared values and beliefs attractive because it allows them to connect with others on a deeper level. They appreciate individuals who can hold emotional space for them, share their desire for personal growth and development, and value authenticity and sincerity in their relationships. When looking for a partner, INFJs should be mindful not to search for the “ideal relationship” but rather focus on finding someone with great potential and willingness to learn and grow.
