Have you ever met someone who seems to be a walking contradiction?
Someone who is both introverted and extroverted, logical and emotional, reserved and intense?
If so, you may have met an INFJ.
INFJ is one of the rarest Myers-Briggs personality types, making up less than 1% of the population. They are known for their deep thinking, empathy, and desire to make the world a better place.
However, their complex nature can make them difficult to understand for those around them.
In this article, we will explore the reasons why INFJs are hard to understand and shed some light on this enigmatic personality type.
Why Are INFJ Hard To Understand
One of the main reasons why INFJs are hard to understand is because they have a constant conflict between their inner and outer worlds. They often feel like they are two different people, which can be confusing for both themselves and those around them.
As introverts, INFJs tend to keep to themselves and are reserved in social situations. However, they also have a strong desire to help others and make a positive impact on the world. This can lead to a sense of intensity that can be off-putting to some people.
Another reason why INFJs are hard to understand is that they are walking contradictions. They are both logical and emotional, introverted and extroverted, and reserved and intense. This can make it difficult for others to predict their behavior or understand their motivations.
INFJs also have a tendency to hide their true feelings from others, which can make it challenging for people to connect with them on a deeper level. They value close, deep relationships but can be hurt easily, leading them to retreat and recharge.
Finally, INFJs are rare personality types, making up less than 1% of the population. This means that many people may not have encountered an INFJ before or may not be familiar with their unique traits and characteristics.
The Unique Characteristics Of INFJs
INFJs possess a unique set of characteristics that can make them challenging to understand. One of their most prominent traits is their deep thinking and ongoing internal monologues. As intuitive feelers, they are also adept at reading and understanding the emotions of others, which can make them seem intense and unapproachable.
Another characteristic that sets INFJs apart is their desire to make others happy. They are willing to sacrifice anything for their loved ones, which can lead to burnout and resentment. However, they can also sense when something is wrong with their loved ones, even when they are not vocal about it.
INFJs are also known for being empathetic and supportive, which makes them a source of emotional unloading for many people. However, this can be emotionally draining for INFJs, especially when relationships become one-sided.
Despite being introverted, INFJs are acutely aware of others’ emotions and needs. They gather energy in solitude and self-reflection but also enjoy spending time with a small circle of close friends. Their decision-making process is often based on gut reactions or emotional responses rather than a systematic approach.
The Inner World Of An INFJ
The inner world of an INFJ is complex and multifaceted. At the core of their personality is their dominant function, Introverted Intuition, which means they are primarily focused on their internal world of ideas. This can make them appear detached or aloof to others, as they spend a lot of time in their own thoughts and ideas.
However, INFJs also have an auxiliary function, Extraverted Feeling, which gives them a strong focus on people and their emotions. This means that despite their introverted nature, they have a deep desire to help others and make a positive impact on the world. They are often described as “compassionate visionaries” because of this values-based focus.
The INFJ’s inner world is characterized by a constant conflict between their logical and emotional sides. They have a strong analytical, logical side that enjoys understanding the principles behind things and applying logical analysis to concepts and ideas. At the same time, they are highly attuned to their emotions and the emotions of others, which can result in them being highly empathetic and sensitive.
INFJs also have a rich inner world of ideas and imagination. They often have a strong sense of purpose or mission in life and are driven by a desire to make a difference in the world. They are highly creative and enjoy exploring new ideas and possibilities.
Despite their intense inner world, INFJs can be difficult to get to know. They are reserved and private by nature, which can make it challenging for others to connect with them on a deeper level. They value close relationships but can be hurt easily, leading them to retreat and recharge.
The INFJ’s Struggle With Communication
One of the biggest struggles for INFJs is communication. They often find it challenging to express their thoughts and feelings verbally, especially in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations. INFJs are more concerned with how others feel and think, which can make it difficult for them to speak up unless it’s absolutely necessary.
INFJs also have a tendency to absorb other people’s moods and emotions, making it challenging for them to differentiate between their own thoughts and feelings and those of others. This can lead to confusion and difficulty in communicating their own needs and wants.
In addition, INFJs spend a lot of time thinking about their words, which can make them appear reserved or hesitant in conversation. They may struggle with spontaneity in verbal communication, preferring to carefully consider their words before speaking.
Another factor that can contribute to the INFJ’s struggle with communication is their desire for deep, meaningful relationships. They value authenticity and vulnerability in relationships, but may struggle to open up and share their true selves with others.
To overcome these challenges, INFJs should focus on developing their communication skills through practice and self-reflection. They can also benefit from finding trusted individuals with whom they can share their thoughts and feelings freely. By doing so, INFJs can improve their ability to communicate effectively and form deeper connections with others.
The INFJ’s Need For Authenticity And Connection
One of the core needs of an INFJ is authenticity and connection. They have a strong desire to be true to themselves and to connect with others on a deep, meaningful level. However, this can be challenging for them as they often struggle with the pressure of becoming what others expect from them.
As FJ types, INFJs have a decision-making process that is focused on maintaining harmony in all their personal relationships. This can lead them to wear masks and hide their true selves in order to avoid confrontation or rejection. They worry that if they reveal their authentic selves, they may scare away the people they care about or be rejected for who they truly are.
Despite this fear, INFJs value authenticity and connection above all else. They want to be with someone who understands them and accepts them for who they are. They are true romantics who seek a soul mate with whom they can connect on an intellectual, emotional, and soul level.
To truly connect with an INFJ, it is important to take the time to understand their perspective and appreciate their strengths. They are usually gentle and deeply in tune with the emotional dynamics and needs of others. They use their intuition to understand complex situations, meanings, and relationships, and their feeling function helps them to empathize with others and to tune into the emotional undercurrents playing beneath the surface.
INFJs also have a strong sense of integrity and are unlikely to be compatible with someone who doesn’t share their values. They will leave relationships if they believe the other person’s values do not align with their own.
How To Understand And Connect With An INFJ
If you want to understand and connect with an INFJ, it’s important to recognize their need for authenticity and deep connections. Here are some tips to help you connect with an INFJ:
1. Respect their need for alone time: INFJs need time alone to recharge and process their thoughts and feelings. Don’t take it personally if they need to cancel plans or spend time alone.
2. Listen actively: INFJs appreciate when people take the time to listen to them and understand their perspective. Ask them questions, show interest in their thoughts and opinions, and be open-minded.
3. Be patient: INFJs can be slow to open up and may not reveal their true feelings right away. Give them time and space to feel comfortable sharing with you.
4. Show interest in their creative pursuits: INFJs are creative individuals who value self-expression. Show interest in their hobbies, passions, and creative projects.
5. Be authentic: INFJs value authenticity and honesty in their relationships. Be yourself around them and don’t be afraid to share your own thoughts and feelings.
6. Respect their boundaries: INFJs can be sensitive to criticism or negative feedback. Be mindful of their boundaries and avoid being overly critical or harsh with them.
By understanding the unique traits and needs of an INFJ, you can build a deeper connection with them and appreciate the value they bring to your life.
