Are you struggling to get an INFJ to open up to you?
Do you feel like you’re hitting a brick wall every time you try to connect with them on a deeper level?
Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
INFJs are known for their reserved nature and tendency to keep their thoughts and feelings close to the chest.
But that doesn’t mean they don’t want to open up and share their inner world with you.
In this article, we’ll explore some tips and tricks for getting an INFJ to open up and build a deeper connection with them.
So, grab a cup of tea and get ready to learn how to crack the INFJ code.
How To Get An INFJ To Open Up
1. Be patient and build trust
INFJs are cautious when it comes to opening up to others. They need to feel comfortable and safe before they can reveal their innermost thoughts and feelings. So, be patient and take the time to build trust with them. Show them that you are a trustworthy and reliable person who they can confide in.
2. Listen actively
INFJs appreciate good listeners. When they do open up, make sure you are actively listening to what they have to say. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings, and ask questions to clarify anything you don’t understand. This will help them feel heard and understood, which will encourage them to open up even more.
3. Create a safe space
Create a safe space for the INFJ to open up in. This means creating an environment where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. Be supportive and non-judgmental, and avoid interrupting or dismissing their thoughts and feelings.
4. Respect their boundaries
INFJs value their privacy and personal space. Respect their boundaries and don’t push them to open up before they are ready. Give them the time and space they need to process their thoughts and feelings, and let them know that you are there for them when they are ready to talk.
5. Show vulnerability
INFJs appreciate vulnerability in others. When you share your own thoughts and feelings with them, it can help create a deeper connection between you both. By showing vulnerability, you are demonstrating that you trust them enough to share your own inner world with them.
Understanding The INFJ Personality Type
INFJs are introverted, intuitive, and feelers. They are highly empathetic and have a strong desire to help others. They have a unique mental process called Extraverted Feeling, which means they are highly attuned to the emotions and needs of those around them. INFJs tend to keep their options open and may struggle with making decisions about what they want out of life or relationships. They value their privacy and personal space, and may take time to open up to others.
INFJs are perfectionists with high standards, but they also understand that everyone is imperfect. They can be easy-going and forgiving, but may become frustrated when people take advantage of their kindness. INFJs may struggle to express themselves through their feelings, but when they do, they appreciate active listening and a safe space to share their thoughts and emotions.
In romantic relationships, INFJs tend to be warm and encouraging communicators. They enjoy deep and meaningful conversations with their partners, but may struggle to open up outside of their close relationships. Advocates should be mindful of communication pitfalls, such as bottling up thoughts and feelings or being overly critical of themselves or others.
Building Trust And Creating A Safe Space
Building trust and creating a safe space are crucial steps to getting an INFJ to open up. INFJs are naturally cautious and reserved, so they need to feel comfortable and safe before they can reveal their innermost thoughts and feelings. Here are some tips to help you build trust and create a safe space for an INFJ:
1. Be patient: INFJs won’t open up unless they feel safe around you in a physical, emotional, and intellectual sense. So, be patient and take the time to build trust with them. Show them that you are a trustworthy and reliable person who they can confide in.
2. Listen actively: INFJs appreciate good listeners. When they do open up, make sure you are actively listening to what they have to say. Show genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings, and ask questions to clarify anything you don’t understand. This will help them feel heard and understood, which will encourage them to open up even more.
3. Create a safe space: Create an environment where the INFJ feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. Be supportive and non-judgmental, and avoid interrupting or dismissing their thoughts and feelings.
4. Respect boundaries: INFJs value their privacy and personal space. Respect their boundaries and don’t push them to open up before they are ready. Give them the time and space they need to process their thoughts and feelings, and let them know that you are there for them when they are ready to talk.
5. Show vulnerability: INFJs appreciate vulnerability in others. When you share your own thoughts and feelings with them, it can help create a deeper connection between you both. By showing vulnerability, you are demonstrating that you trust them enough to share your own inner world with them.
By following these tips, you can build trust with an INFJ and create a safe space for them to open up. Remember that it takes time and patience, but the rewards of a deep connection with an INFJ are worth it.
Active Listening And Empathy
Active listening and empathy are crucial when it comes to getting an INFJ to open up. INFJs are highly empathetic themselves, so they appreciate when others show empathy towards them. When an INFJ opens up to you, it’s important to actively listen to what they have to say. This means giving them your full attention, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding distractions.
Empathy is also key when it comes to getting an INFJ to open up. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective. This will help you connect with them on a deeper level and show them that you care about their thoughts and feelings. When an INFJ feels understood and validated, they are more likely to open up and share more with you.
It’s important to note that active listening and empathy go hand in hand. When you actively listen to an INFJ, you are also showing them empathy by acknowledging their thoughts and feelings. By doing so, you create a safe space for them to share more with you, which can lead to a deeper connection between you both.
Asking The Right Questions
Asking the right questions is crucial when trying to get an INFJ to open up. Avoid surface-level or generic questions, as INFJs tend to value deep and meaningful conversations. Instead, ask open-ended questions that allow them to share their thoughts and feelings more freely.
Some good questions to ask an INFJ include:
– What are some of your core values and beliefs?
– What are your passions and interests?
– What are some of your biggest fears or insecurities?
– Can you tell me about a time when you felt deeply connected to someone or something?
– What motivates and inspires you in life?
– How do you typically process your emotions and feelings?
Remember to listen actively and respond with empathy and understanding. Avoid judgment or criticism, as this can cause an INFJ to shut down and retreat back into their shell. By asking the right questions and creating a safe space for them to open up in, you can build a deeper connection with an INFJ and gain insight into their unique perspective on the world.
Giving Them Time And Space
One of the most important things to keep in mind when trying to get an INFJ to open up is the need for time and space. INFJs are introverted and often need time alone to recharge and process their thoughts and feelings. It’s important to respect their need for alone time and not try to push them to socialize when they don’t feel up to it.
Additionally, INFJs need time to build trust with others before they can open up. This means being patient and understanding that they may not feel comfortable sharing everything with you right away. It’s important to show them that you are a trustworthy and reliable person who they can confide in.
Creating a safe space for the INFJ to open up in is also crucial. This means avoiding judgment or criticism, being supportive, and actively listening to what they have to say. If they feel heard and understood, they will be more likely to open up even more.
Finally, it’s important to show vulnerability yourself. INFJs appreciate when others are willing to share their own thoughts and feelings, as it creates a deeper connection between them. By showing vulnerability, you are demonstrating that you trust them enough to share your own inner world with them.
Avoiding Judgment And Criticism
INFJs are highly sensitive to criticism and judgment, which can make it difficult for them to open up. When communicating with an INFJ, it’s important to avoid any language that could be perceived as critical or judgmental. Here are some tips for avoiding judgment and criticism:
1. Use “I” statements
When expressing your thoughts or feelings, use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” say “I feel unheard when I try to communicate with you.” This approach is less accusatory and can help the INFJ feel less defensive.
2. Avoid absolutes
Avoid using absolutes like “always” or “never.” These words can come across as extreme and may trigger the INFJ’s sensitivity to criticism. Instead, use more moderate language that acknowledges the complexity of the situation.
3. Be constructive
If you do need to offer feedback or criticism, make sure it’s constructive and focused on problem-solving. Avoid attacking the INFJ personally and instead focus on specific behaviors or actions that can be improved.
4. Validate their feelings
If the INFJ does express their feelings, validate them by acknowledging their emotions and showing empathy. Even if you don’t agree with their perspective, it’s important to show that you understand where they’re coming from.
By following these tips, you can create a safe and supportive environment for the INFJ to open up and share their thoughts and feelings. Remember that building trust takes time, so be patient and consistent in your efforts to connect with them.
